"If I perish, I perish"

I've completed my internship. It's crazy to think that three months ago I was stressing out, for lack of a more intense word, trying to make the right decision. I was torn between a place that made perfect sense in furthering my career, and a place that would push me outside of that.

When seeking my answer I stumbled upon the book of Esther. She didn't know the outcome with where to lead her people, but she made her choice solely on the basis of wisdom and love for her people, and trust in God. She made a decision, and handed the outcome over to God.

And away came my pressure, embracing the reality which is no matter where I feel led, or choose to go in life God can use me through that, God can be seen as holy through all.

I feel, way too often, I unintentionally limit God's power. Something God has put on my heart this summer is to feel pain, versus praying to get passed it. Not just pain, our blessings, to not simply admire them but seeking more through them, seeking God's glory. I've been blessed to have had my heart awakened to a whole new outlook on love. The power of loving, the patience and heart God can give you for people when you allow your heart to be broken for such. I've also been challenged to risk.

Risking, I've found, to be beneficial not because God promises it will always be successful, but because it allows for childlike faith in His love. Belief that He will lift up your face in the end, it reflects God's value.

Every loss we risk in order to make much of Christ, God promises to restore a thousand times over with his satisfying fellowship.

After all, what more do we need?

"Every good poised to bless us, and every evil arrayed against us, will in the end help us boast only in the cross, magnify Christ, and glorify our Creator. Faith in these promises frees us to risk and to find in our own experience that it is better to lose our life than to waste it. "

"but i do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." Acts 20:24